A woman does not have to speak to call for a man. She only needs the inner state. A real woman needs no words at all. Pose, gestures, movements and eye expression are enough. I was in exactly that state.

He was looking at me above the heads of people passing between us. He responded to my call. I felt interest in the way he looked at me. He tilted his head and waved with his hand, asking me to approach him. “Oh, no, not me” – my answer was made with not a single word, but with a smile on my lips and more then telling eyes. I realized that he did not recognize and did not remember me. Just the call and probably a dim image of me in the depths of his unconsciousness.

I deliberately turned around and headed away – to forget him. But God probably had different plans for me or us. He made his way over and grabbed me by the hand.

I stayed with him at the club till late in the morning. He offered to see me home. The darkness of night was disappearing while we walked along the tram rails. I entered my entrance hall and he followed me. The only thing I wanted at that moment was just to be with him, near him, to breathe in his smell, see his face, look into his eyes and enjoy the way his lips curved when he was smiling. I came up to him so close that there was almost no distance, but still no contact between us. Meekly, I put my arms under his shirt and gently, with the tips of my fingers, touched his back, discovering his skin and muscles underneath. My lips were almost touching his and I started kissing him. Nothing existed around me any longer. No time, no worries, no victories. Only the gentle kiss, the long kiss, the slowly, driving-me-crazy kiss, and the taste of pleasure, the same as the taste of his lips. The pleasure was as viscose and sticky as honey, lasting like an endless journey. Me, him, and my slow pleasure. My selfness was imbibing it, washing all over me and giving even more back to him. I was still committed to the idea that there was nothing that could be given unless it had first been accumulated inside. So I was giving. I was as close to him as a snake crawling a tree – inch by inch – getting closer and closer to becoming a single indivisible. It was a desire, the slow and rising desire of a woman. A desire that can fill a man with love, power, life, and peace; a desire that can make a man feel like a god holding the whole universe in his hands with lightning and newly-born worlds inside. Women are really powerful human creatures able to support through their energy and mind.

Lucky are those who have experienced a similar state of mind and body. This state can embrace and dilute the bitter taste of failures, sooth anger and pain. Such states are really giving and powerfully gifting.

Nothing else really mattered to me at that moment, neither what or how he was or how long it would last and what it would end up with.

(…to be continued…) 

Source: The Codex of Uncertainty Transposed