Jealousy/Pride
I: I don’t feel equal. I feel either inferior or superior. Both come with negative implications. I have heard many times that I shouldn’t compare, that each person is unique, but jealousy rises in me involuntarily. I see myself as inferior or superior. It’s absolutely impossible not to compare. We have been told to compare and compete since we were children. How can I not do it?
Myself: You are right on one point. Everybody is unique. There is not a second person like Julie with her name, nationality, hair color, history, character and inclinations. Accept your uniqueness. Just pause and feel that wonder of uniqueness. It is beautiful. Pause and concentrate your attention on the wonderful feeling of being unique with whatever you have inside or outside. Have you ever seen an ugly tree? My guess is – never. But trees are different in shape, color and height. Can you feel how accepting the tree is? It just IS. The tree IS. It does not add any more judgements to its Isness. It just exists.
I: Be like a tree.
Myself: I look at myself from a different perspective. I think what I AM is, in fact, beautiful. Why? Because there is no single repetition. I feel that. It’s calming. It’s pleasing. It’s natural. There’s so much inside it.
Approval
I: Do you feel you should be approved by someone to feel your worth?
Myself: I don’t think so.
I: So why do you feel bad when someone disapproves of you?
Myself: How’s that?
I: You feel inferior. You feel discriminated against. You feel you are being treated unjustly. You even feel anger and hatred. Is that you?
Myself: Yes, sometimes.
I: Imagine a blue balloon. And imagine someone saying that the balloon is not blue but orange or dark green. Does it change the color of the balloon? Doesn’t the balloon stay the same blue balloon even when someone gives it different labels?
Myself: I think so.
I: So why are you concerned when someone says you are not right? Does it change who Julie is? Do you change inside? If you go deeper, you will feel a space that is always the same. That Julie never changes even if she is disapproved of. Can you feel that space?
Myself: I don’t know. I think I am quite vulnerable.
I: That is because you never met the true Julie. The true Julie is unchangeable. The true Julie stays the same even under an attack with thousands of judgements and labels. Now concentrate on yourself. Are you that one who is hurt by disapproval or are you the one who is aware of that space?
Myself: I don’t think I feel that.
I: Concentrate on your deeper self. There is something which allows things to happen in the outer world. Be aware of that SOMETHING. Do you feel that? Do you recognize that space?
Myself: I can feel something inside me which is calmer than I normally am.
I: You go to that point. There is no anxiety in that awareness. There is calmness and peace. Feel that. Enjoy it. And now, tell me, do you think that part of you can be changed by anyone or anything? Don’t you think it is always there? Always patient. Always calm.
Myself: I can sense a feeling which is close to pleasure. How come?
I: Every day, several times a day, concentrate your attention on being aware of that place. That is the true Julie, and that Julie is not separated from the world. That awareness is ONE. But let us leave such a conversation for another time.
(…to be continued…)
Transadaptation Volume 4 – Material Dissent
January: A Blinding Light and Then, All Darkness – Jonay Quintero Hernández (Spain)
February: The Opportunist – Lauren Voaden (United Kingdom)
March: A Stranger in my City – Alejandra Baccino (Uruguay)
April: A South African Soundtrack – Sarah-Leah Pimentel (South Africa)
May: Full Circle – Ina Maria Vogel (Germany)
June: La Lluvia en Bogotá – Adriana Uribe (Columbia)
July: Freedom – Krisztina Janosi (Hungary)
August: A Bus Ride – Svetlana Molchanova (Russia)
September: Transcendence – Armine Asryan (Nane Sevunts) (Armenia)
October: Motherhood – Marilin Guerrero Casas (Cuba)
November: Nine Days – Gennady Bondarenko (Ukraine)
December: Open – Seyit Ali Dastan (Turkey)
Background – Context
Transadaptation Volume 3: Evanescent – Young Adulthood Transadapted, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2022)
Transadaptation Volume 2: Conceived – Childhood Transadapted, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2021)
Transadaptation Volume 1: In the Middle – Prelude to a Contemporary Transadaptation, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2020)
Peripatetic Alterity: A Philosophical Treatise on the Spectrum of Being – Romantics and Pragmatists by Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2019)
La Syncrétion of Polarization and Extremes Transposée, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2019)
The Codex of Uncertainty Transposed, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2018)
L’anthologie of Global Instability Transpuesta, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2017)
From Wahnsinnig to the Loony Bin: German and Russian Stories Transposed to Modern-day America, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2013)
Emblems and stories on the international community
Perception by country – Transposing emblems, articles, short stories and reports from around the world
Credits (left side, middle – top to bottom, right side)
1. Syunik, Armenia – The cliffs – Ani Adigyozalyan (Unsplash), 2. Tatev, Armenia – Tatev Monastery – Anie Arstamyan (Unsplash), 3. Syunik, Armenia – In the mountains – Ani Adigyozalyan (Unsplash), 4. Tavush, Armenia – Transcendence – Karine Avetisyan (Unsplash), 5. Lori, Armenia – Mountain grazing – Aram Grigoryan (Unsplash), 6. Armenia – Gora Arailer – Aram Grigoryan (Unsplash), 7. Goris, Armenia – Ephemeral – Mushegh Hakobyan (Unsplash), 8. Armenia – Monastery Valley – Ivars Utinans (Unsplash)
Source: The Codex of Uncertainty Transposed