Instability or… Flexibility?

Transposing emblem by Kate Korneeva

Isn’t instability so inherent to all of us? We are so unstable from any point of view. Is a human being characterized by instability… or flexibility? Can we say that anything changing is unstable? Is instability more good than bad or vice versa?

Would anybody argue that our inner state is constantly shifting from one mood to another? Would you argue against physical changes in our bodies? An ability to change emotionally, mentally and physically is a strength and a powerful factor letting us adapt to a changing world and keep adjusting to any minor and significant change to feel comfortable. It’s an open secret that the more flexible (or unstable?) a system is the more viable it is. A rigid system can hardly adapt to change. Anything unable to undergo change can be easily destroyed. It is the same with us, humans.

When we are born into this world, we are unstable too, and this is a given condition no one can influence. At least, at the very beginning. Instability is the basis of evolution, progress, adaptation, life and existence.

Being brought up by our parents we absorb the mindset, suggestions, restrictions and limitations, implicit or explicit attitudes and frameworks of our mother and father and the people who take care of us. In Russia our upbringing is far from nourishing. Parents treat their children like property, and one can neither interfere in the process of upbringing, nor disrupt it even if there is obviously something wrong. Sometimes, when we are adults, we find ourselves with a handful of attributes no longer working properly or effectively, no longer bringing us happiness and harmony, self-expression and joy. The mindset is so deeply unconscious that it rules us, it makes us behave in a certain way or make choices we can’t explain. And we call it fate. Thank God, human psychology is unstable in regard to flexibility, and we have a chance to correct the mindset we inherited from our childhood. The path toward healing our restrictive mentality is challenging and requires an internal need for change to start with. It is not easy to realize that there is something unconscious that rules our lives and acknowledge that we need some guidance and coaching or tutoring by professionals with relevant knowledge and experience and understanding. Some of us may simply have a creeping feeling telling us to change something in ourselves. Do I have to “upgrade” myself to move forward as if I have wings behind my shoulders? Can I do something with myself to feel more comfortable inside my mind, to become more successful, free and more… myself? This feeling may be so subtle that we can hardly recognize it. Decades of economical instability and our country’s historical background have prevented Russians from taking a close look at ourselves, at what we are and who we are. Not many people are able to confess “there is something wrong with me.” We are more willing to put the blame on our partners, children, spouses, bosses, colleagues, etc., not on ourselves. This is how human psychology works.

Russia has never been a country where psychologists were treated like other “medical” doctors. If we have a toothache we rush to a dentist. But if something goes wrong in our relationship with ourselves and others, if we feel the need for love, safety, acceptance, joy, if we feel the inner need to change our lives for a  better future… we don’t know how to help ourselves. We, here in Russia, never go to psychologists to heal ourselves and – I even dare say – get acquainted with ourselves to some extent. We are more used to sharing problems with close friends, parents, relatives… or with nobody at all. We’ve become convinced by generations of ancestors that we should not wash dirty linen in public. Nobody has ever taught us that what you’ve done is enough, it’s okay to be satisfied with ourselves, it’s okay to be strong and ask for help at the same time… Unlike Americans and Europeans, the idea of visiting a specialist in human psyches is hardly conceivable for many Russians. Just gain awareness of old limitations operating in the background and get rid of them to shift to a better life full of harmony, supportive relationships and self-expression. We need to overcome our cultural background and start treating specialists in psychology as those doctors who will help, support and heal. Relative to men, women are more flexible, more sensitive and emotionally unstable. Generally, Russian men are more likely to accept challenges and fight and find solutions without asking for help, especially from specialists like psychologists, psychotherapists.  

But the good news is that the world is so unstable and changing faster than ever, so we can see more and more people willing to get out of the traps that keep us stuck in an unsatisfied sense of well-being. Working on our psyches is an essential basis for courage, creativity, innovation and simply happiness. The outer instability gives us an impulse to change ourselves, and inner flexibility gives us an opportunity to follow and catch up with the changing and challenging world instead of being left behind.  We are now shifting our interest to ourselves, to who we are and to what we can become. 

Since the world of today is so fragile and unstable, now more than ever, new values are required like cooperation, wisdom, collaboration, a brand new form of leadership and more. We are now living in a specific time, transformational period of evolution and progress, at crossroads of ages. It’s like a milestone and new people are in demand, men and woman capable of new leadership in families and corporations, at home and in public. Those who are capable of making an impact on instability and creating a new level of consciousness are needed as well. More and more Russians are shifting to a completely new approach to life now. More and more we feel the need to change our mindset, to become more open to the changing world, to meet the new challenges it brings. We, humans, have an unlimited potential to express ourselves in the best possible way, to enjoy our lives, to become supportive and accepting. And this all comes from inside. But this path is not for everyone. It’s for those who are deeply ready and committed to making changes by doing difficult work studying and learning themselves. And when we step this way, we may become leaders of a new age, the age of positive instability that brings a brand new development, enlightenment and harmony. A new era and a new world begin with us. Starting with ourselves we can not only accept changes but also influence the changes and even generate them. And it is instability that gives us the power and the chance to change ourselves and the world around us, to evolve and grow up, to become ourselves and thus enrich our lives and future and the people around us.

I wish all of us nothing but the best understanding of who and what we are in as much depth as possible to continue gaining valuable experience seeking to further enhance harmony and success, to multiply that knowledge and the technologies, to make a breakthrough into the conscious world. I wish us nothing but the best in taking as much as possible from our flexibility, from our potential to change ourselves and generate positive change and realize our great potential as humans.       

Kate Korneeva