Emblem tranpoзиция by Kate Korneeva

I guess all of us sometimes find ourselves uncertain when making a decision or choosing from a range of options. And I think that is quite normal. Even the most self-confident people may experience the feeling of uncertainty from time to time. We, humans, thank God, are not equipped with any PLC (programmable logical controller) or algorithm. We are too unique, too diverse and complicated for that. We are unlimited in terms of thought, feeling, ability and creativity. And that is great!

I’d like to look at uncertainty from, probably, a somewhat unusual and peculiar point of view. “Why not?” – as I love to say. Can uncertainty be a chance? An opportunity to stop, take a break and listen to what is inside of us. In the real depths of our mind. What if uncertainty can be about putting rational reasons, logical approaches and arguments away for a while and feeling tiny needs, emotions and desires that sometimes can … not be ignored intentionally, of course, but may be unheard because we’ve gotten so used to making reasonable choices, the right decisions and successful arrangements?

We’ve been raised and trained to behave according to rules, norms, standards, and principles on the one hand, and demands, expectations, restrictions and taboos on the other hand; to be good enough for our parents, teachers, employers, and society, in other words, to be successful from somebody else’s point of view. All of those social norms are inherited from our childhood and experience in life; they are our background. And they are a part of our personality as well. And they are also who we are.  And all of them were helpful and useful and even essential and crucial at a certain point in time. And when uncertainty suddenly surfaces and our true desires become known, it may be like crossing a line, like seeing a red light in the mist, and, if we can notice or feel something, then it’s time to stop and reconsider notions, guidelines and rules we’ve been controlled by. Then it’s an opportunity to turn to ourselves, to our personal and individual desires and needs, which may not be approved or praised by others.

And I should admit that it is not easy to get in touch with something deep inside of our heart all of a sudden. It requires us to be strong and persistent, to be ready to slow down and recognize those routines that have invaded our life, and only then to make an effort to change them. Courage is required.  And staying in touch with ourselves is harder than understanding all this. I guess it is harder because we have to take control over our thoughts, emotions, and feelings, and it takes hard work and an enormous amount of effort. We have to take complete responsibility for what we do and how we do it. But the final result is worth it.

I once tried. And that was cool. No logic, no reason, only listening to what my inner state was faintly saying. Its voice can hardly be heard, so we may become uncertain again: what if it’s better to follow our usual routine? Proceed as we always do. What will happen if I follow my still unknown desires? Will that be safe? Will there be any guaranties? We actually cannot cheat ourselves emotionally because our emotions, feelings, intuition are true to us. And that is what is called selfness. Mind tricks can take us in any number of directions. And who knows, maybe far away, far from what we truly are inside. But feeling ourselves and trusting our emotions is who we really are.

Uncertainty is not always as bad as it is considered. I believe the key mission we face is to learn all over again or continue trusting ourselves, our personal feelings, desires, and intuition. Sometimes it is really impossible to see what is underneath or beyond, but all of us are able to feel. The next time, we may view uncertainty as a chance. Let’s be brave and trust ourselves. Trusting ourselves and choosing ourselves is essential for personal harmony and inner satisfaction.

Let uncertainty be a point where we can choose a different direction! Let it be a limit where we can take a deep breath and just feel, not think! What will it feel like then? Like fear? Like relief? Like exploring and discovering ourselves and being surprised? What reactions will we experience? Mine was like “Wow! This is my life! I live it my way!” No social bias, nobody to judge. Just me and the world. Was it like a sort of power, but still civilized and enclosed inside of me? Yes, something like that.

I think sometimes that patterns, routines, rules and taboos do not work and do not bring us inner satisfaction because we are all too individualistic. “Do it your way,” one of my customers told me once.  And I did. Frankly speaking, I was surprised at first, and then I felt like there were wings on my shoulders.  And that was the permission to be myself, to express myself and use my potential, my creativity, my ideas and my own personal and unique experience I had learned from the lessons of life. And I wish for all of us, for all our children and our parents to hear, at some point, this permission to do whatever we choose! And I strongly believe that the most precious permission is the one we give ourselves – the permission to get into emotional touch with ourselves, to feel ourselves, to discover ourselves. And when something is uncertain next time, let’s just feel and listen. It’s never too late to become ourselves and live our life our way. No repetition, no next time, no later, no other us. One life, one chance. One we!