My dad’s family was five strong, six when you added an uncle living with them from his mother’s side of the family. Don’t recall much about my aunt, my dad’s sister, the oldest of three kids. She left home young and never came back, though I think I have a couple of cousins from her that I haven’t talked to since my childhood. Now the middle brother, my uncle, he was a great man – smart, strong, dedicated, reliable. I’ve heard nothing but praise for him from everyone who has ever spoken of the guy. Never met him personally though. I’ll get to him soon enough too.

So my dad grew up as a poor pig farmer in a shack – no running water or electricity. That last part’s ironic, since after graduating and doing his mandated 4 years in the Red Army near some river close to the Urals, he eventually became an electrician. Didn’t get much work as one though. Since the state’s zero unemployment policy didn’t need an excess of electricians, dad was set up with a job at a steel mill. He did that for a few years, ten, more maybe. Short stint back in the day for a job like that. Lots of guys worked those kinds of jobs for the rest of their lives. And it was hard work, dangerous too, all that hot metal molding about. Don’t know about the whole process myself. Still, from what I heard, dad enjoyed it. He had never complained, apparently, though he’d been really tired all the time. Eventually, he started a family – that’s where I come into the picture. I was still a kid, and the country was still part of the great big red empire when – by some chance – my dad’s old friends rose up the political party ladder and dragged my dad up with them. He became a communist, proved himself loyal, competent, and began climbing the ranks on his own. We, as so many others, threw our hats in with the occupiers and not only did it get us out of poverty, but it paved a path to some nice riches and connections. The state set us up for life, multiple lives even. Though I can’t really say that it brought us much joy.

As everyone knows, eventually the whole Soviet thing fell apart and we were all freed, whether we had been a part of the old system or been struggling against it. To say that the everlasting fighters, ever outnumbered and outgunned, won the long war, would be nice. But nothing’s that simple. What really happened is the system imploded on its own and everyone who split off had to rebuild from scratch, the new system all bound up with the old one. So those of us who were part of the empire didn’t really go anywhere. More than that, after privatizing everything, many of us became even richer than before with fewer strings attached. We pulled our own strings now. I came into my own at that time. And my dad died. He was not a happy man by the end. Not because the empire collapsed or he had ideological regrets. He simply didn’t care about anything anymore. All he could see was loss. Nothing else.

Despite all his ills, my dad was a good man at heart. And me, what am I? I’m not very smart, mildly clever at best. I’m well aware of my hideous looks, and no amount of fancy clothing will ever change that. As I said, I’ve no higher education or interest in that, hardly any real work experience. Everything I have is thanks to my dad’s connections and not just the material goods, but also all the mental bads too. My old dad died in deep despair, and I also struggled with the occasional existential crisis over my life. Nothing too major, didn’t ever go to no institution or anything. Thing is, despite his good heart, my dad had even less charm than me, next to no confidence in himself and he always kept everything deep inside. And all that killed him. We all knew what was going on and that whole lingering darkness thing that everyone ignored. But I didn’t… I didn’t say anything. I just saw and understood. And after it took my dad, I swore that no matter what, I would never let the darkness win against me. Although the truth is, I don’t know how to beat it just yet, but I’ll find a way.

Reminding myself of all that, I always recall an old childhood friend of mine, great guy, similar background to me, but he didn’t stay in the nomenclature. He became a priest. He fought a similar darkness, and he’d tell me to never let a good depression go to waste and to always remember that eventually we’ll die. So enjoy life, he said, be good, savor small things that are easily got with no drawbacks, no strings attached to them. Don’t fancy all that vanity that costs so much, be it in wealth or mental exhaustion. Remember death so as to truly enjoy every moment of life, even when it don’t feel good.

(…to be continued…)

by Paulius Limantas

 

Transadaptation Volume 7 – Via Ellipsis – Continuation of Uncertainty, Instability and Extremes Transadapted

January: An Unexpected Trip Down Memory Lane – Sarah-Leah Pimentel (South Africa)

February: Blow-up – Veronika Groke (Austria)

March: Futuros Murguistas – Alejandra Baccino Uberti (Uruguay)

April: The Nomenclature Man – Paulius Limantas (Lithuania)

May: Amanecerá y veremos – Adriana Uribe (Columbia)

June: Finding Light in Yerevan – Armine Asryan (Armenia)

July: The Last Judgement – Nadia Silva Castro (Brazil)

August: Who’s Afraid of the Big, Bad Worm? – Narantsogt (Natso) Baatarkhuu (Mongolia)

September: Second Steps – Jonay Quintero Hernandez (Spain)

October: New Normality – Svetlana Molchanova (Russia)

November: Pandemic Love – Li Xiakun (China)

December: Beyond Comprehension – Rahaf Konbaz (Syria)

 

Background – Context

Transadaptation Volume 6: Meaning? – Uncertainty, Instability and Extremes Transadapted, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2025)

Transadaptation Volume 5: Of Flowing Vicissitudes – Life Transadapted, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2024)

Transadaptation Volume 4: Material Dissent – Adulthood Transadapted, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2023)

Transadaptation Volume 3: Evanescent – Young Adulthood Transadapted, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2022)

Transadaptation Volume 2: Conceived – Childhood Transadapted, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2021)

Transadaptation Volume 1: In the Middle – Prelude to a Contemporary Transadaptation, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2020)

Peripatetic Alterity: A Philosophical Treatise on the Spectrum of Being – Romantics and Pragmatists by Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2019)

La Syncrétion of Polarization and Extremes Transposée, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2019)

The Codex of Uncertainty Transposed, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2018)

L’anthologie of Global Instability Transpuesta, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2017)

From Wahnsinnig to the Loony Bin: German and Russian Stories Transposed to Modern-day America, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2013)

 

Emblems and stories on the international community

Perception by country – Transposing emblems, articles, short stories and reports from around the world

 

Credits

Center photo: Palanga, Lithuania – Shadows – Kotryna Juskaite (Unsplash)

Photos from top left corner clockwise: 1. Lithuania – Old and new – Kotryna Juskaite (Unsplash); 2. Lithuania – Going home – Kotryna Juskaite (Unsplash); 3. Vilnius, Lithuania – The street – Alex Vinogradov (Unsplash); 4. Kaunas, Lithuania – A summer evening – Egidijus Bielskis (Unsplash); 5. Lithuania – From above – Gantas Vaičiulėnas (Unsplash); 6. Panevėžys, Lithuania – The shack – Kotryna Juskaite (Unsplash); 7. Lithuania – The residential blocks – Kotryna Juskaite (Unsplash); 8. Lithuania – In the woods – Ugne Vasyliute (Unsplash)