Inestabilidad in Interpersonal Relationships – Chile (Part 50)

Transposing emblem by Karin Kutscher
Until you’re happy again.
Until you’re happy again.

Oh hey. This is about Chile because it has happened to me in Chile and to lots of people that I know, of which all are here in Chile. So yeah.

You are in a relationship. You have found somebody and somebody has found you. You look at each other and communicate. Then you separate for the day, and you don’t really know when you will see each other again. Events may pop up; familia and friends make unexpected requests for the presence of either of you that cannot be easily dismissed. One of you feels the need for the company of amigos or amigas. You and the other person make allowances; everything is food for meditation.

Vinicunca, Peru – Rainbow Mountain

Spells of euphoria give way to spans of separation, when your exhaustion and momentary lack of self-realization spawn misgivings, again. And the cycle repeats itself. After consulting with friends, after meditation, you just conclude that you are 2 different ppl, and that elders in your family sometimes give good advice or have good insights, and that insight from close amigas is also very valid; and that not so close amigas will probably be swept away by the restructuring of relationships that have operated in your lives.

Machu Picchu, Peru

Our “loved one” has COMMITMENTS other than us such as children from a previous relationship. Our “loved one” has neuroses of his own. We notice that especially when we drink together. Worse, after drinking we find out that we’ve forgotten the so special piece of information that he gave us concerning his past whereabouts, his ex, his CV, whatever. What a shame, we will have to ask again….

Communicación is not always good. Sometimes boredom sets in. Sometimes suspicion of being not appreciated enough, of being (oh yes) too good for him, of being used, of giving too much of ourselves for too little of him, and so on. And so on…. Oh how much extra effort on the brain. Everything is meditation, yes, but being in a relationship is the ultimate devotional tantric meditation available to us, the common people. How much of a mirror of ourselves is THE OTHER. Our partner-to-be. Our actual partner. Our soon-to-be-ex. Our new partner-to-be. In him we will project and see all of our own shortcomings, immaturity, manias, depression, and weaknesses of character. Just the same as we will receive from him all the encouragement that we need for our real careers, all the affection in an embrace, and all the attention as we speak… Sometimes we will wait to see him for an entire weekend, but he will prefer to work extra hours or to be with his offspring.

Maras, Peru – Salt ponds

And then….

We live hanging from our cell phones, waiting for the next whatsapp message to make our next move.
We plan in the caves of our brains hideous revenge, hurtful phrases to hurl at the formerly so much appreciated person, we plan on cheating on them at the very first opportunity (that we may also seek out) with that attractive person who had made advances on us some time before, or else with whoever we may find.
And we change the lock on the door.
And we start scouring the dating websites.

And….

Still, if only he would call again.

Agua Calientes, Peru – Inca face statue

But aren’t we losing our (previous) freedom? That freedom that we had to sleep with others, to come and go from home (the meeting place) as we damn pleased? Aren’t we held captive, in submission, under his tiranía? Aren’t we.

Oh and then (this is typical) go out and seek Professional Advice. Heheh. At USD 60 an hour, we’ll see a “professional” Tarot reader or Family Constellations consultant. And then head out to the bar in search of company in misery, or at least a good chat (depending on whether you have fallen in love or not [yet]).

Cynicism will take us nowhere. You know. Self-pity is despicable and wholly useless. In every circumstance of l-if-e. Oh and consumption. No way. But other roads will do. Meditation, self-control, are the easy way.
Going out of your door on an adventure, cell phone left at home, talking to ppl at random at used book galleries; to store owners, street musicians, and beggars – that will do you so much good. Drink tons of coffee beforehand, to the point where your hands start trembling. Bring your business cards with you and distribute them liberally.

Lima, Peru – People

Also: seek out your old friends, meet up with them. Ask them unexpected stuff. Start businesses together. Stage a play of your own creation, for example about your lives. Become a painter. You’ve always wanted to paint. That will take you out of your head. My own creations are here. Recently I had my first exhibition at a local gallery. Become a fiction writer. Do the stuff that’s difficult for you. Creating characters? Fleshing out your plot? Concentrate on that. You’ve always wanted to become a writer, too! 🙂

And if he still is not communicating, well, find someone new. That’s all there is to it. Really.
Recently I bought a nice bedspread, only bc I liked the Celtic drawings on it. A couple of months later I noticed that it also contained big lettered phrases:

Lima, Peru – People 1

LEARN FROM THE PAST CREATE THE FUTURE

We do change. We do evolve. We really can learn. Memory is key. Honesty with what we are, want, and have previously achieved, is also crucial.
You may be very emotional, have trouble expressing your feelings, and be very prone to tears or something close to tears when you try to do that (and, as feedback, he may express annoyance, as if something were not quite right; he may fall into response traps, preset attitudes such as withdrawal, or non-acceptance of some sort); but no worries, the next time may be different. And if it’s not, at least you will have expressed yourself, which must be done. In person, which is how it should preferably be. In second place is a phone call, and then the last option is the written media: chat first, then email, then… a letter!

Pisac, Peru – Urubamba valley

Open relationships are for infants; being an adult means commitment. Every relationship is committed, so there’s no need to adjectivize that.

You two are changing. Together, as always. Have Faith. Fe y fuerza, amigos.

Karin Kutscher

Emblem of Instability in postcard version at 1080

Credits

Photo 1: Moray, Peru – Incan agricultural laboratory by takepicsforfun

Photo 2: Vinicunca, Peru – Rainbow Mountain by cge

Photo 3: Machu Picchu, Peru – Nad Hemnani

Photo 4: Maras, Peru – Salt ponds by Wollertz

Photo 5: Agua Calientes, Peru – Inca face statue by PixieMe

Photo 6: Lima, Peru – People by studio4a

Photo 7: Lima, Peru – People 1 by studio4a

Photo 8: Pisac, Peru – Urubamba valley by alessandro pinto

Emblem of Instability in postcard version at 1080

Parts of the Emblem of Instability

Alvisi, Andrea. Political and Social Instability: The Brexit Mess. May 2017.

Bahras. Unstable Air Pollution – Unstable Solutions: Mongolia. June 2017.

Bichen, Svetlana Novoselova. Mental and Cultural Instability: Russia and Turkey. February 2017.

Borghi, Silvana Renée. Living in Inestabilidad. September 2017.

Caetano, Raphael. Instabilidade emocional: Brazil. February 2017.

Çakır, Peren. On the Road in Search of Stability: Argentina and Turkey. June 2017.

Cordido, Verónica. Instability, a Stable Reality: Venezuela and America. April 2017.

Dastan, S.A. The Stability of Instability: Turkey and Syria. March 2017.

D’Adam, Anton. Psychosocial Instability in Argentina and America: El granero del mundo and The Manifest Destiny. January 2017.

Delibasheva, Emilia. Political Instability: Electoral Coups in America and Bulgaria. December 2016.

Ellie. Angry Folk: Korea. June 2017.

Farid, Isis Kamal. Stability Is Not An Option – Egypt. August 2017.

Friedrich, Angelika. Introduction: The Emblem of Instability. September 2016.

Fondevik, Vigdis. Unstable Nature: Norway and Denmark. October 2016.

Ghadir, Younes. Political Instability – Lebanon. September 2017.

Halimi, Sophia. Modern Instabilité: Youth and Employment in France and China. March 2017.

Hernandez, Jonay Quintero. Embracing Instability – Spain. February 2017.

Kelvin, Sera. The Stability in Expecting Emotional Instability: Brazil. April 2017.

Konbaz, Rahaf. The Castaways: On the Verge of Life – Syria. August 2017.

Korneeva, Ekaterina. Instability… or Flexibility? July 2017.

Krnceska, Sofija. Decades of Economic Instability – Macedonia. September 2017.

Larousse, Annabelle. Legal and Emotional Instability in a Transgender Life – Ireland. August 2017.

Larrosa, Mariela. The Very Stable Spanish Instability. April 2017.

Lobos, José. Political Instability: Guatemala. May 2017.

MacSweeny, Michael. A House on a Hill – America. October 2017.

Mankevich, Tatsiana. The Absence of Linguistic Stabilнасцi: Does the Belarusian Language Have a Future? December 2016.

Meschi, Isabelle. Linguistic Instabilité and Instabilità: France and Italy. November 2016.

Mitra, Ashutosh. The Instability of Change: India. January 2016.

Moussly, Sahar. The Instability of Tyranny: Syria and the Syrian Diaspora. December 2016.

Nastou, Eliza. Psychological Αστάθεια and Inestabilidad during the Economic Crisis: Greece and Spain. December 2016.

Nevosadova, Jirina. Whatever Happens, It Is Experience. May 2017.

Partykowska, Natalia. Niestabilność and адсутнасць стабільнасці in the Arts: Polish and Belarusian Theater. January 2017.

Payan, Rodrigo Arenas. Impotence – Venezuela and Columbia. September 2017.

Persio, P.L.F. Social Instabilità and Instabiliteit: Italy and the Netherlands. November 2016.

Pranevich, Liubou. Cultural Instability: Belarus and Poland. March 2017.

Protić, Aleksandar. Demographic Instability: Serbia. July 2017.

Romano, Mavi. Unstable Identities: Ecuador and Europe. October 2016.

Sekulić, Jelena. Нестабилност/Nestabilnost in Language – Serbia. August 2017.

Sepa, Andreea. Instabilitate vs. Stabilität: How Important Are Cultural Differences? – Romania and Germany. September 2017.

Shunit. Economic Instability: Guinea and Gambia. April 2017.

Shalunova, Marina. Language Instability: Russia. June 2017

Sitorus, Rina. Instabilitas Toleransi: Indonesia. May 2017.

Skrypka, Vladyslav. National нестійкість: Ukraine. July 2017.

Staniulis, Justas. Nestabilumas of Gediminas Hill and the Threat to the Symbol of the State: Lithuania. July 2017.

Sousa, Antonia. Social and Economic Instabilidade: Portugal. January 2017.

Vuka. My Intimate Imbalanced Inclination. March 2017.

Walton, Éva. Historical and Psychological Bizonytalanság within Hungarian Culture. January 2017.

Yücel, Sabahattin. The Instability of Turkish Education and its Effect on Culture and Language: Turkey. July 2017.

Zadrożna-Nowak, Amelia. Economic Instability: Poles at Home and the Polish Diaspora. November 2016.

Zakharova, Anastasiya. Instability in Relationships: Russia. April 2017.

To follow: emblems by Romanian, Moldovan, British, Macedonian, Mexican and Philippine writers and translators.

Further reading

Azazeal, Alex. Отражение Spiegelt Reflection. 2014.

Friedrich, Angelika. The Emblem of Instability. September 2016.

Friedrich, Angelika. Sub-Under-U-метро-Bahn-Ground-Way. 2014.

Gergiev, Vladimir. Street – Straße – Улица. 2014

Metivier, Anthony. Kunstart. 2014.

Smirnov, Yuri. Art de streetулица. 2013.

Whittlesey, Henry, et al. Transposing Emblem – Junk Culture – Müll Trashed Мусор (Part I). August 2016.

Whittlesey, Henry, et al. Transposing Emblem – Junk Culture – Müll Trashed Мусор (Part II). August 2016.

Whittlesey, Henry, et al. Transposing Emblem – Junk Culture – Müll Trashed Мусор (Part III). September 2016.

Whittlesey, Henry. Forward to Next Transposing Emblem. January 2016.

Whittlesey, Henry. Changes to Transposing Emblems. November 2015.

Whittlesey, Henry. Excerpt of new emblem transpoзиция on trash. September 2015.

Whittlesey, Henry. Müll trashed мусор. 2013

Visit www.transposing.net for more information about transposition.

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