The Trajectory of Life – España (Part 32)

Emblem transpoзиция by Cristina Cajoto

As puzzling as it may sound, I have needed years to realize that uncertainty governs nuestras vidas. This was a shocking discovery at first, I felt confundido and eventually apathetic: ¿Why bother to strive if el futuro was not in my hands? Luckily, that defeatist attitude did not last long, and it eventually occurred to me that we do have control over nuestras vidas, as we govern our reacción towards whatever fate decides to bring upon us.

Madrid, Spain – Enlightened

As a kid, I took everything for granted. Mi familia, mis amigos, mi casa… It was all I ever knew, and I thought it would stay unchanged until I grew up and replaced those things with my own: familia, amigos, casa… That is how it was meant to be.

Calp, Spain – Stairway to…

The first sign that things could get off track was el divorcio of my friend’s parents. All the changes in her life, which I had not contemplated before, made me comprender that things could indeed go unexpectedly.

A few years later, another friend’s dad lost su trabajo. For some time she had very little or no pocket money.

A third friend’s grandma/second mom passed away at a quite young age. La familia was devastated.

Valencia, Spain – Under water

By la adolescencia, I understood that things can go awry. Sometimes I had to avoid this thought, as I was a bit overwhelmed by the fact that my life could be stricken by such changes dramáticos as the ones I had witnessed among mis amigos.

Little did I know at that young age, I would only comprehend the full meaning of uncertainty when I became a mom.

Madrid, Spain – A couple

When another person’s life completely depends on you, uncertainty attains una nueva dimensión. ¿What if my child is not healthy? ¿What if I cannot provide for him or her? ¿What if I become sick or even die? ¿What if some other tragedia affects us? ¿What if my child is not a happy one? ¿What if he or she is not a good student? ¿What if I do not have the time as a working mom to properly raise him or her? ¿What if my kids do not get along? ¿What if my kid does not become a successful adulto? All those what-ifs started haunting me…

Barcelona, Spain – La Sagrada Familia

I consider myself a fighter and I soon decided that I would try and truly live the unique experience that is motherhood (y la vida en general), instead of just passing through it haunted by my fears. The question was how to do it.

Luckily, la vida, el destino, fate, uncertainty or whatever it is called put in my path some inspiring personas that had gracefully made their way through the most difficult situaciones to prove that we do have some control over our happiness. (I wonder if we are actually always surrounded by inspiring people, but are unable to realize the model they are…)

Barcelona, Spain – Onward

A friend that I have known for quite a few years once gave me an important life lesson. I already knew she was bright and had a special ability to make everyone feel content, both in her personal y professional sphere; however, the way she managed to redo her life in a foreign country, hundreds of miles away from home (family, friends, house, job, community), due to an unfortunate situación legal, simply amazed me. In just a few months, she had found a new job where she soon became a valued member and had built up a new support system.

Barcelona, Spain – Looking

When we lost a friend in his thirties due to un accidente a few years ago, the way his mother overcame this loss y the passing away of her husband just a year later was truly inspiring. She chose to be thankful for having had them in her life instead of lamenting having lost them. I believe this attitude was un factor determinante in her speedy recovery from grief.

Barcelona, Spain – Continuing

The serious disease that my husband’s cousin’s kid suffered (fortunately, he has now recovered) was also a milestone in this learning curve. The parents (who up until then seemed to me padres regulares, with their strengths y weaknesses) showed an infatigable, fierce attitude during the long stay el hospital and in making sure that their other child en casa would not suffer any major changes in her life.

Madrid, Spain – Together

I now believe that your attitude is the key. Obviamente, when such an earthquake shakes your whole world, your primera reacción is to give in to desesperación, as it is common to have ups y downs along the way. But it becomes essential to work towards a positive attitude en general.

En mi opinión, positivity is a sign of a healthy mind. And a healthy mind, the same as a healthy body, is something that needs to be constantly nurtured.

I will use the Roman saying Mens sana in corpore sano to introduce el primer método for a healthy mind: taking care of your body. Healthy eating, exercising y sleeping well are known to contribute to a healthy body, but they also contribute to a healthy mind, as body y mind (some call it soul) are nothing but two aspects of the same reality.

Barcelona, Spain – Intersecting

Secondly, I think it is vital to build a strong support system (I give my friend before credit for the expression support system). If you have truly dear familia y amigos in your life, they will be there for you in bad times. They will probably help physically (for example, if they are geographically close), but will definitely help psicológicamente, by listening, comforting, advising… However, in order to receive this kind of support in bad times, make sure to cultivate your personal relationships en los buenos tiempos.

Madrid, Spain – Fun

Finally, look for the beauty en la vida, I mean, try to find those little things that will make you happy even if it is just for a minute. That can help you escape the sorrow y pain you may be immersed in. It may be taking a walk by the sea or watching a film in your favorite genre or cooking y eating a nice meal or reading a good book (these are my choices, but las posibilidades are endless). Just make sure you pick your choice beforehand, so that you know what resource to use when you need it most.

Canary Islands, Spain – At sunrise

Age brings awareness de la realidad, thus crushing the innocence of los primeros años; however, for those who choose to reflect on the topic, it also provides a deeper comprensión of life. La vida is uncertain (random, fragile…); once this is understood y accepted, it only makes sense to live it on a daily basis and with an attitude positiva, whatever shade it acquires.

Cristina Cajoto

Credits

Photo 1: Seville, Spain – Mirrored – Christian Battaglia

Photo 2: Madrid, Spain – Enlightened – Tobias Messer

Photo 3: Calp, Spain – Stairway to… – Beasty

Photo 4: Valencia, Spain – Under water – Janis Skribans

Photo 5: Madrid, Spain – A couple – RadKha

Photo 6: Barcelona, Spain – La Sagrada Familia – Rishabh Varshney

Photo 7: Barcelona, Spain – Onward – Lerner Vadim

Photo 8: Barcelona, Spain – Looking – Lerner Vadim

Photo 9: Barcelona, Spain – Continuing – Lerner Vadim

Photo 10: Madrid, Spain – Together – RadKha