One day, during the last days of winter, when the first glimpses of spring finally started blooming all around, I decided to surprise him. I snuck out early from work with the idea of cooking his favorite meal and having a date-night. However, as I stepped into the apartment, I could hear he was already there. I was obviously disappointed, as I truly wanted to surprise him. Suddenly, everything went quiet. As I entered the living room, I saw two half-naked bodies mumbling something while I just stood there. There he was, my love, Torrance, in our apartment and after everything we´ve been through… I could not take it. I don´t remember how things went exactly, although I can still feel an urge to hurt someone like I had never felt before. I was in pain, and I wanted to cause pain. I felt my mouth dry; I felt my heart pounding and my muscles commanding me to move. I guess that´s when I threw the flower vase at him and grabbed that bimbo´s hair. According to the police report – thank you Angela from 2B – I was screaming and throwing things at them. That was my first night in the hospital. I spent a few days there while I flushed down all the drugs they gave me to calm down. At last, I went back home. It was so nice of Torrance not to press charges, I guess he knew I did all that because I feared losing him.

I thought things would finally be okay between us, as they once were. And the first couple of days were amazing, Torrance was as charming as ever, and kind and supportive. However, a few days back into the routine, he became cold and distant. I would ask him what was going on and he would plainly ignore me.

“He´s hurt, you know,” Isa said. “He is hurt that you would do that to him, after everything he did for you, all he cared for you. I know that he was with another woman, but have you thought about why he felt he needed to be with someone else? Is it really his fault?” she kept going.

“But, he´s got to know that I did it because I love him. And I was hurt too!” I said, hearing the exasperation in my voice.

“If I were you, I would at least question if I could have done something to provoke him,” Isa insisted.

“I don´t think she did,” Mica intervened. I was glad to see her stepping up for me. “There has always been something off with him, I just couldn´t put my finger on it. But, well, it shouldn´t come as a surprise though… another day, another poor decision. We should be used to it by now, but you don´t cease to surprise us. Had you listened to my advice, you wouldn’t be here, blaming yourself for being so… unworthy.”

“Shut up, shut up, shut up!” I screamed inaudibly at them. “You don´t know him like I do, you are jealous, both of you. Nobody loves you so you don´t want me loving anybody either. He couldn’t live without me, I would prove it to you if I could, and you would see!”

“Do it, let us see.” James voice caught me by surprise. I knew he was lurking somewhere, but not that he was so close. “Do it, come on, show him how worthy of his love you are. Show him, and he´ll take you back,” he said again, now louder. And so, I did.

When I woke up, I felt sharp pains all over my body. The few tears that ran down my face, burned like fire. I tried to hold them back afterwards. The bright, white hospital light was right on my face, reminding me constantly that I was being observed. I did not feel like talking to anybody or explaining myself. The need to prove them wrong was still in my heart, although, for future reference, I should remember to open the glass door before attempting to jump off the balcony.

I received just a few visitors, one of course from Dr. Della Menti, reassuring me that things were going to go back to normal. Torrance visited too; I was so happy when he did! I was so excited that they had to give me something to go to sleep afterwards. He only visited a few times and he seemed more distant. I understood what he was going through, I am not that selfish. I wish he understood me too.

Isa, Mica and James are still there. They always are. However, they are quieter now, shyly lurking in the back of my mind. Dr. Della Menti says they are always going to be there, that they are a part of me now, but I must be strong and not listen to them. I usually remember not to trust them. I have even written it on my hand, just in case I forget. I kind of miss them though, they were company. The only company I have.

I will find love, I am positive. I just got to take my medication and be good. If I’m good, I’ll be out in no time. I will have my happy ever after, even if it’s the last thing I have.

In the Middle – An International Transposition (Fiction)

Introduction to In the Middle – An International Transposition, edited by Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey

January: Forgetting – Turkey, by Seyit Ali Dastan

February: The Unreal in Real – Armenia, by Armine Asryan

March: Catching Water – Argentina, by Javier Gómez

April: Unwanted – South Africa, by Toni Wallis

May: House with a Stucco Ship – Ukraine, by Gennady Bondarenko

June: A Girl Pedaling – Cuba, by Marilin Guerrero Casas

July: The Last Day – Poland, by Pawel Awdejuk

August: Through my Hands – Venezuela, by Veronica Cordido

September: Amelia’s Euphemism – Spain, by Jonay Quintero Hernández

October: Until Love Do Us Part – Uruguay, by Alejandra Baccino

November: A Journey to the Edge – Lebanon, by Rayan Harake

December: I Used to Smoke – Russia, by Kate Korneeva

Background – Context

Peripatetic Alterity: A Philosophical Treatise on the Spectrum of Being – Romantics and Pragmatists by Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2019)

La Syncrétion of Polarization and Extremes Transposée, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2019)

The Codex of Uncertainty Transposed, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2018)

L’anthologie of Global Instability Transpuesta, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2017)

From Wahnsinnig to the Loony Bin: German and Russian Stories Transposed to Modern-day America, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2013)

More work by Alejandra Baccino

Adventure – Alejandra Baccino

Polarization within Ourselves – Alejandra Baccino

Emblems and stories on the international community

Perception by country – Transposing emblems, articles, short stories and reports from around the world

Credits

Cover photo: Uruguay – Afternoon – LeanUr (Shutterstock)

Source: The Codex of Uncertainty Transposed