Evanescent – Turkey: Remembering (Bölüm 1)

Seyit Ali Dastan

“Did you forget the day you promised not to leave me?” she asked in tears.

“Me?” I replied abruptly. “Besides, I’m not leaving you. It’s you talking about divorce after each quarrel between us. I never wished it. It’s your choice. I’m just packing. If you come with me, you are very much welcome. Your ticket has already been bought. And you still have time to get ready for the trip.”

It was the day I had booked a flight to Toronto, Canada, and we were having another fight at our apartment in Istanbul. While I was hastily packing my clothes in the suitcase, she was sitting on the bed, her knees pulled up to her belly, wearing a black nightshirt. I was avoiding eye contact but still saw how swollen her eyes were from endless crying. She was yelling at me, accusing me of being the coldest person in the world, a selfish monster who did not care about her. I was trying not to answer her and just pretending to worry about my clothes. I knew my emotionless attitude was making her angrier. I did not intend to do so. But any emotional faltering on my part would give her courage to play on my sensual weakness, and I could be encaged one more time. And I knew, as I put my clothes in the suitcase without hesitation, she was becoming more and more surprised. To show my determination, I had printed out the flight tickets – for both of us – and put them on the bedside table.

Then I finished filling the suitcase and closed it. When I had fastened the zipper, she stopped crying, leaned forward on her arms, and asked in a soft and trembling tone of voice:

“Won’t you?”

I sighed and sat on the bed. Now there were three on it: my wife, my suitcase and me.

“Honey,” I said affectionately, “I’m not leaving you. You know it. That’s why I bought tickets for both of us. I planned everything. We will start a new life in Canada. I already found a job at a university. Believe me, that will be a new start for our relationship as well. It will refresh everything! Please, we have already discussed it a million times. Just trust me and come.”

After seeing my determination again, she shouted at an even higher pitch:

“I won’t, I won’t, I won’t!”

Then I stood up, watched my angry wife and gazed at the calm suitcase on the bed. I thought that I would never sleep on that bed again and took the suitcase, extended its handle, and started to pull it through the corridor to the apartment door. When I reached it, I thought that I had forgotten my passport.

“Do you know where my passport is?” I asked unemotionally and without showing any affection. I spoke without any term of endearment only when I was angry with her. She knew it and yelled from the bedroom:

“I’m not the guardian of your stuff!”

“No problem!” I replied and went back with the suitcase. I checked all the wardrobes and drawers one by one. It was not there. She looked at my baffled concern. Then she said:

“You, stupid! Did you check your pocket? You already put it in there.”

“Oh, I’m a bit mixed up. Just confused by the trip.” – I kept hiding my eyes from her and left the bedroom again.

I put my passport into my suitcase and started to pull it again. Its handle looked like a hand to me now. I was holding the hand of my suitcase. When I looked down the corridor, I could see the bedroom door half open. I wanted to see her again but did not want her to see me. Yet she was out of sight.

She called from the bedroom in a reasonable manner:

“Do you think you can go alone? By yourself? Remain whole throughout your entire trip? You look like a little boy in need of parental attention. I am sure when you are at the airport, you will forget or lose something at check-in.”

I leaned on the door and kept listening without responding. She was teasing me and threatening: “Anyway, when you spoil your journey or just ruin you plans or realize that Canada is not the perfect place to live, please do not dare to come back here, to my home. You know, from now on, this is my apartment.”

“Come on, I am 36 years old and I had a life before you. I survived pretty well.”

After a minute of silence, I continued:

“I am not sure everything will be fine in Canada. But it is worth trying. Compared to my life in Turkey, there is not much left to lose. Besides, it’s a good place to live. I got a good offer from the university. And if we go together…”

“We? You still say ‘we’? Stop making plans for us. There is no ‘we’ anymore. You and me. We will join the army of ‘former couples’.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself.”

“Why? Is there any hope to reconcile?”

“Come on, there is discord in all marriages.”

“Don’t make me laugh. This is not discord; this is a fight!” Then she added emphatically: “Especially considering that you are leaving me…”

(…to be continued…)

Series – Evanescent

January: If Something Can Go Wrong…It Will – Jonay Quintero Hernández (Spain)

February: The Planet of Pleasure – Nane Sevunts (Armine Asryan) (Armenia)

March: Evening with Jackie Chan – Gennady Bondarenko (Ukraine)

April: Vuvuzelas, Walkie-Talkies and Madiba Magic – Sarah-Leah Pimentel (South Africa)

May: Remembering – Seyit Ali Dastan (Turkey)

June: 5-4-3-2-1 – Talia Stotts (America)

July: Getting Ready for Newborns – Marilin Guerrero Casas (Cuba)

August: Regrets – Kate Korneeva (Russia)

September: A Hollow Pursuit – Diana Haidar (Syria)

October: The Test – Alejandra Baccino (Uruguay)

November: The Writer’s Daughter – Lauren Voaden (United Kingdom)

December: Translation Perfect – Zhang Lu (China)

Special: Catching Water III – Javier Gomez (Argentina)

Background – Context

Transadaptation Volume 2: Conceived – Childhood Transadapted, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2021)

Transadaptation Volume 1: In the Middle – Prelude to a Contemporary Transadaptation, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2020)

Peripatetic Alterity: A Philosophical Treatise on the Spectrum of Being – Romantics and Pragmatists by Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2019)

La Syncrétion of Polarization and Extremes Transposée, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2019)

The Codex of Uncertainty Transposed, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2018)

L’anthologie of Global Instability Transpuesta, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2017)

From Wahnsinnig to the Loony Bin: German and Russian Stories Transposed to Modern-day America, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2013)

Emblems and stories on the international community

Perception by country – Transposing emblems, articles, short stories and reports from around the world

Credits

Cover photo: Alanya, Turkey – The bazaar below – Aleksandar Todorovic (Shutterstock)

Source: The Codex of Uncertainty Transposed

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