I had suffered miscarriages, assassination attempts, diseases, alien abductions, unfaithfulness, but it seemed like life, or death, had one last indignity in store for me. I thought that at my age I would be allowed to find some rest, but apparently, I had been thrown back to earth again. This time in the shape of an animal.

I’d been told that my mission for this new life would be to get my nephew Edelmiro and his wife Luisa, who hadn’t been loving each other as much lately, together again to beget a girl who would be crucial for the safety of mankind in the future. Since Edelmiro is 51 and Luisa 47, this mission is starting to look more like a miracle.

Saint Peter thinks that the perfect shape for conducting this mission is that of a cute, white, hairy doggy because both partners love pets, especially cute little dogs. “That will make it easier for you to get into contact with them and penetrate the house,” said Saint Peter. “Yes, it’s all about penetration, isn’t it?” I replied with a twinkle in my eye and an elbow to his arm. Saint Peter didn’t laugh and looked at me with a grave expression…

I suggested that a pigeon would be preferrable, better trained and more experienced than myself for the task, but Saint Peter didn’t seem to have much sense of humor and threatened to find me some room in a much worse place down there…

Now, actually, I’m starting to value this new physical appearance since everyone seems to like me. They talk to me as if I were a 1-year-old toddler, but they caress me and offer all kinds of food. The ability to lick your own penis and testicles isn’t something to be underestimated either. The whole genitalia thing, so new to me, is starting to look like one of the greatest advantages of being male. I can literally piss wherever I want…

Now that I have infiltrated, not penetrated, the house, I have started to gain their trust and love, and I think I’m doing pretty well as far as that aspect is concerned. But the mission still remains difficult. Every time they’re together, I’ve tried to leave subtle signs of what is expected of them. I have brought them dirty magazines and VHS tapes (apparently nobody uses these things anymore), handcuffs, sex toys, provocative lingerie, but apart from some weird looks I haven’t gotten anywhere.

Tonight is the night.

I’ve locked them in a room and…¡Look! ¡Oh my Holy God! They seem to be… yeah, you guessed it. Now is my chance… Saint Peter told me that at the right moment I had to baptize them with the holy water of God.

I carefully open the door….. I sneak into the room. ¡Wow! ¡My gosh! ¡What things people do nowadays! ¡Hush, hush! I need to approach without being noticed. Yes, the good thing about being a dog is that I can move about agilely and silently. Yeah, now I’m on the bed….I have to concentrate a little, just a little….¡Yeah! ¡What a relief! ¡I’d been holding it in all day! ¡There you go, waters of the holy Jordan river!! ¡Ow! ¡Ow! ¡Hey!! ¡There’s no need to get violent! ¡Don’t be angry at me! You’ve been blessed by the holy yellow waters of God and now you will procreate, ahh… ¡Help! ¡Help! ¡Saint Peter! Mission accomplished! ¡Mission accomplished!

“Of course, my sweet daughter. Mission accomplished. A beautiful girl will be born who will change the ways and destiny of mankind. ¡Come back here, Amalia! ¡God bless you!”

Transadaptation Volume 5 – Of Flowing Vicissitudes

January: The Night the Stars Stopped Shining – Sarah-Leah Pimentel (South Africa)

February: Three Sides to Every Story – Krisztina Janosi (Hungary)

March: Rain Trap – Adriana Uribe (Columbia)

April: Priorities – Narantsogt Baatarkhuu (Mongolia)

May: The Night in Heaven – Armine Asryan (Armenia)

June: Witches Don’t Burn – Alejandra Baccino (Uruguay)

July: A Regular Flat – Mateusz Tymoszewski (Poland)

August: Many Happy Returns – Svetlana Molchanova (Russia)

September: And Now, It Will All Go Downhill – Jonay Quintero Hernandez (Spain)

October: Planet Qirim – Anastasiia Leonova (Ukraine)

November: You Are Her, Aren’t You? – Seyit Ali Dastan (Turkey)

December: Culture Shock – Veronika Groke (Austria)

Background – Context

Transadaptation Volume 4: Material Dissent – Adulthood Transadapted, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2023)

Transadaptation Volume 3: Evanescent – Young Adulthood Transadapted, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2022)

Transadaptation Volume 2: Conceived – Childhood Transadapted, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2021)

Transadaptation Volume 1: In the Middle – Prelude to a Contemporary Transadaptation, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2020)

Peripatetic Alterity: A Philosophical Treatise on the Spectrum of Being – Romantics and Pragmatists by Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2019)

La Syncrétion of Polarization and Extremes Transposée, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2019)

The Codex of Uncertainty Transposed, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2018)

L’anthologie of Global Instability Transpuesta, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2017)

From Wahnsinnig to the Loony Bin: German and Russian Stories Transposed to Modern-day America, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2013)

Emblems and stories on the international community

Perception by country – Transposing emblems, articles, short stories and reports from around the world

Credits

Top row (left to right): 1. Canary Islands, Spain – Above – Underworlds (Shutterstock), 2. Canary Islands, Spain – From above – Africa Pink, 3. Canary Islands, Spain – Sun setting – underworld (Shutterstock)

Middle row (left to right): 1. Canary Islands, Spain – The town – Maria Bobrova (Unsplash), 2. Canary Islands, Spain – The Teide volcano – Kateryna Mukhina (Shutterstock), 3. Canary Islands, Spain – Firgas – Yury Chernov (Shutterstock)

Bottom row (left to right): 1. Canary Islands, Spain – El Cubo de la Galga – Imag3s4U, 2. Canary Islands, Spain – Descent – Martagro (Shutterstock), 3. Doramas, Gran Canaria, Spain – The tree – Unai Huizi Photography (Shutterstock)

Source: The Codex of Uncertainty Transposed