A photo from Frau Ecker was waiting in my inbox when I got back from lunch, attached to a shouty email: ENCLOSED THE PHOTO OF THE SIGN! ONE CAN SEE CLEARLY THAT IT IS ON MY LAND! THE SUNFLOWERS ARE FOR THE BIRDS! PLEASE DEAL WITH THIS PROMPTLY!! WALTRAUD ECKER
I showed Franz, and he just shook his head. “The problems people have… But I have to give it to her, for an old woman, it’s impressive how she’s managing these new technologies.”
Between requests for recycling bags, birth registrations and applications for land use reclassification, I’d quite forgotten about the sign affair by the time I locked up the office just after 3:00 pm. It was a beautiful day, and after the relative sterility of the council building I luxuriated in the sunshine, happily squinting at flowers and butterflies in gardens and meadows as I walked past them on my way home.
As I was admiring the house with the wonderful 60s panorama window a couple before ours, I noticed a row of little signs that had been put up along the strip of grass just next to the road. A PIG HAS LET THEIR DOG SHIT HERE, read one; NOT A DOG POTTY, another. Some had little pictures of crossed-out pooping dogs on them. Like Franz earlier, I shook my head: Clearly, the Felddorfers had a liking for DIY signs. But at least these had been put up by people on their own land, so fair play.
The next couple of days passed quietly. Frau Ecker posted a complaint, as shouty as her email, in the “Felddorf Network” Facebook group (WILL WHOEVER PUT UP THE SIGN, KINDLY REMOVE IT!!! IT MAKES HOLES IN THE GROUND, WHICH IS WILFULLY DAMAGING MY PROPERTY!!!), but there were only some three gently mocking replies that basically echoed what I’d told her at the office, so I kind of expected that that would be the end of it.
Then, on Thursday, I was on my way to the hairdresser after work when a piece of paper caught my eye. It had been neatly stuck to one of the ground floor windows with Sellotape. It was a handwritten notice suggesting that it wouldn’t hurt if whoever lived in the house gave the (admittedly uncommonly grubby) windows a good clean. (Capital letters, needless to say: much harder to identify the handwriting.)
On a whim, I got my phone out and took a picture – it was beginning to look like I might be able to put together a nice little collection of handcrafted signage projects from around the village. And I didn’t have to wait long for the next instalment, either: vigorously massaging conditioner into my scalp, Nikki, the hair salon’s owner, vented her outrage at someone having nailed a cardboard sign to her front door in the middle of the night to complain about her cat.
“It’s un-be-lievable,” she fumed. “Someone actually comes with a hammer and puts a nail in my door. Woke the entire house up, but of course, by the time my partner got to the door, there was nothing to be seen. Except the stupid sign! And because of a cat – my goodness, so maybe it shat in someone’s garden – like other people’s cats don’t shit in my garden sometimes? No, really!”
“Boah, really… Do you think I could see it?”
“What, the sign? Yeah, sure, if you want…”
Nikki disappeared into the back and a moment later returned with a piece of brown cardboard, the kind boxes tend to be made out of. Ripped at the top where it had been pulled off the nail, it brandished the words LITTER TRAY / KEEPS THE CAT HAPPAY, referencing a song by a German comedian that had – against all odds – been absorbed into the public consciousness. Underneath, it said in much smaller letters, AND THE NEIGHBOUR, TOO.
I caught myself before I let out a chuckle – granted, the execution was humorous, but the act itself was really a bit menacing.
“Can I take a picture of this?” I asked.
Nikki nodded emphatically. “Absolutely, yes, please. And if the council finds out who did it, give them my best regards, and the next time they’ll be paying for the door!”
(…to be continued…)
Transadaptation Volume 6 – Meaning? – Uncertainty, Instability and Extremes Transadapted
January: A Regular Train Trip – Mateusz Tymoszewski (Poland)
February: Growing Up – Adriana Uribe (Columbia)
March: Mess – Veronika Groke (Austria)
April: The Roads We Take – Svetlana Molchanova (Russia)
May: Need – Nadia Silva Castro (Brazil)
June: “Next Sunshine” – Jonay Quintero Hernandez (Spain)
July: Pandemic Love – Xiakun Li (China)
August: Planet Kyiv – Anastasiia Leonova (Ukraine)
September: Feeling like a Fool – Ulrike Bergmeister (Germany)
October: Stories of Outcast Souls – Armine Asryan (Armenia)
November: Ronaldinha – Alejandra Baccino (Uruguay)
December: Aimlessly – Krisztina Janosi (Hungary)
Background – Context
Transadaptation Volume 5: Of Flowing Vicissitudes – Life Transadapted, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2024)
Transadaptation Volume 4: Material Dissent – Adulthood Transadapted, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2023)
Transadaptation Volume 3: Evanescent – Young Adulthood Transadapted, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2022)
Transadaptation Volume 2: Conceived – Childhood Transadapted, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2021)
Transadaptation Volume 1: In the Middle – Prelude to a Contemporary Transadaptation, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2020)
Peripatetic Alterity: A Philosophical Treatise on the Spectrum of Being – Romantics and Pragmatists by Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2019)
La Syncrétion of Polarization and Extremes Transposée, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2019)
The Codex of Uncertainty Transposed, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2018)
L’anthologie of Global Instability Transpuesta, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2017)
From Wahnsinnig to the Loony Bin: German and Russian Stories Transposed to Modern-day America, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2013)
Emblems and stories on the international community
Perception by country – Transposing emblems, articles, short stories and reports from around the world
Credits
Left column (top to bottom): 1. St. Gilgen, Salzburg – On Lake Wolfgang – Betofoto (Shutterstock); 2. Oetz, Austria – From above – DirkVG (Shutterstock); 3. Sillian, Austria – In the village – Simone Crespiatico (Shutterstock)
Center column (top to bottom): 1. Brixen im Thale, Austria – Golden Hour – Stephan Seeber (Unsplash); 2. Stollhof Hohe, Austria – Into the Alps – Olha Siomik (Shutterstock)
Right column (top to bottom): 1. Cachau valley, Austria – On the Danube – Kochneva Tetyana (Shutterstock); 2. Hallstatt, Austria – The mountain village – Pink Stockers (Shutterstock)
Source: The Codex of Uncertainty Transposed