“Do you have plans for the holidays?” he asked, changing the subject. The Armenian Christmas was approaching – January 6.
“Not really. School is closed for two weeks, so I thought I might explore some of the monasteries outside the city.
“Alone?” Armen frowned slightly.
Julie bristled at his concern. “I’m quite capable of traveling in Armenia by myself.”
“Of course you are.” He reached across the table to touch her hand. “But I have a better idea. Come with me to Lake Sevan. My friend has a cottage there, and it’s beautiful in the winter. We can visit Sevanavank Monastery, and you can have the peace you need to work on your writing.”
Julie had mentioned her abandoned collection of stories to him once, a project she’d started and stopped a dozen times over the years. She was surprised he remembered.
“I don’t know, Armen…”
“Just think about it,” he said. “No pressure. But I would enjoy your company, and I think you might find some inspiration there.”
Later, walking back to her apartment through the snow-covered streets, Julie considered his invitation. She liked Armen, certainly, but intimacy – both physical and emotional – terrified her. Past relationships had all followed the same pattern: initial passion followed by the slow revealing of her darker self, the parts damaged by her childhood and shaped by her depression. Eventually, they all left, exhausted by her moods or frustrated by her withdrawal.
Armen seemed different, more patient and perceptive. But they all seemed different at first.
Later that day, in her apartment, Julie once again picked up her diary. This book was the dark life of Julie and her companion in all her misery. She opened a page and was surprised to read exactly those words.
“I want to be free and I can.” That guy in the Mirzoyan library was suggesting a slice of freedom that she was seeking. She grabbed the phone and texted him: I’m in.
Her feelings were a mixture of excitement and fear – something she had not experienced before. Those short moments of excitement that she experienced now and then were like a light in a long, dark tunnel. She smiled at herself and decided not to avoid the fear this time. She decided to look it right in the eye:
– What are you afraid of?
– Life.
– What do you mean?
– So often it has given me pain. I don’t believe in anything good.
– Can you touch that pain? Can you smell that pain? Where is that pain? Don’t you understand that it’s in your mind? You created it! Created it for this day – to unlock it and set it free. Don’t you understand that?
Julie’s eyes twitched. Although she saw sense in talking with herself, she was still very confused.
– What should I do? It’s stronger than me.
– Is it?
– I’m afraid of fear.
Julie was exhausted. She wanted to sleep. Her eyes were closing. She knew she would get up after a couple of hours in the middle of the night and continue writing. This was the only thing she wanted to do. Talking with herself was part of her life.
That night she reread the first chapter of her book. It took courage to start composing again. And, yes, she saw herself in the characters and settings:
(…to be continued…)
by Armine Asryan (Nane Sevunts)
Transadaptation Volume 7 – Via Ellipsis – Continuation of Uncertainty, Instability and Extremes Transadapted
January: An Unexpected Trip Down Memory Lane – Sarah-Leah Pimentel (South Africa)
February: Blow-up – Veronika Groke (Austria)
March: Futuros Murguistas – Alejandra Baccino Uberti (Uruguay)
April: The Nomenclature Man – Paulius Limantas (Lithuania)
May: Amanecerá y veremos – Adriana Uribe (Colombia)
June: Finding Light in Yerevan – Armine Asryan (Armenia)
July: The Last Judgement – Nadia Silva Castro (Brazil)
August: Who’s Afraid of the Big, Bad Worm? – Narantsogt (Natso) Baatarkhuu (Mongolia)
September: Second Steps – Jonay Quintero Hernandez (Spain)
October: New Normality – Svetlana Molchanova (Russia)
November: Pandemic Love – Li Xiakun (China)
December: Beyond Comprehension – Rahaf Konbaz (Syria)
Background – Context
Transadaptation Volume 6: Meaning? – Uncertainty, Instability and Extremes Transadapted, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2025)
Transadaptation Volume 5: Of Flowing Vicissitudes – Life Transadapted, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2024)
Transadaptation Volume 4: Material Dissent – Adulthood Transadapted, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2023)
Transadaptation Volume 3: Evanescent – Young Adulthood Transadapted, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2022)
Transadaptation Volume 2: Conceived – Childhood Transadapted, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2021)
Transadaptation Volume 1: In the Middle – Prelude to a Contemporary Transadaptation, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2020)
Peripatetic Alterity: A Philosophical Treatise on the Spectrum of Being – Romantics and Pragmatists by Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2019)
La Syncrétion of Polarization and Extremes Transposée, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2019)
The Codex of Uncertainty Transposed, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2018)
L’anthologie of Global Instability Transpuesta, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2017)
From Wahnsinnig to the Loony Bin: German and Russian Stories Transposed to Modern-day America, (eds.) Angelika Friedrich, Yuri Smirnov and Henry Whittlesey (2013)
Emblems and stories on the international community
Perception by country – Transposing emblems, articles, short stories and reports from around the world
Credits
Background photo: Kapan, Armenia – The building – KrimKate (Shutterstock)
Top row of inserted photos (left to right): 1. Old Khndzoresk, Armenia – Man-made caves – Lovelypeace (Shutterstock); 2. Kapan, Armenia – A spring evening – KrimKate (Shutterstock)
Second row of inserted photos (left to right): 1. Goris, Armenia – Hung out to dry – KrimKate (Shutterstock); 2. Kapan, Armenia – The town – KrimKate (Shutterstock)
Third row of inserted photos (left to right): 1. Armenia – A village in Syunik province – KrimKate (Shutterstock); 2. Goris, Armenia – On the street – KrimKate (Shutterstock)
Fourth row of inserted photos (left to right): 1. Kapan, Armenia – Illuminated – KrimKate (Shutterstock)
Fifth row of inserted photos (left to right): 1. Kapan, Armenia – At home – KrimKate (Shutterstock); 2. Halidzor, Armenia – On the edge – KrimKate (Shutterstock); 3. Kapan, Armenia – The embankment – KrimKate (Shutterstock)